Dear Cora

I wanted to record this electronically as well as in my new journal.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Dear Cora,

There are two people that I know but would very much like to get to know better. This first person is someone I know very well, but haven't always had the best relationship with. Who? You! I address this record to you because it is you for whom I am writing.
You are a beautiful young woman, though you don't always believe it. I love you for exactly who you are even though we don't get along sometimes. I want to come to know and appreciate you the same way that I would a best friend. I want to support you and help you understand God's great love for you.

The second person that I want to get to know is my older brother, Jesus Christ. I want to build a personal relationship with my Savior. I want to earn his friendship the same way I want to earn yours.
I know that I need to trust him to guide me. I realize that trust is really hard for me, but I also understand that trust, like faith, is a choice. I am choosing to trust my Savior to succor me. I choose to accept Father's plan for me because I choose to trust his love for me and his desire for my happiness.
I truly believe that agency is the greatest gift my Father could give me. This summer I learned bluntly that attitude is a choice. I'm starting to understand how many things are.

I choose to be someone better today. To me, that is part of the beauty of the atonement. If I don't like who I was yesterday, then I don't have to be that person today. Every week, as I take the sacrament, I am a slate being wiped clean. I am free to fill it with whatever I choose.
I know that's drastically simplified but I still think it is true. I've never liked being labelled as anything or judged for actions other than my own. By trying to live each day as though it were my first, I don't have to feel tied to others' opinions of me.
I don't advocate being irresponsible or flighty and I don't mean to sound like I do. Of course I need to maintain responsibility for my choices and actions, I just choose to always do/be my best every day regardless of past mistakes.

Sorry Cora, I suppose I've strayed off topic a bit. This is really meant to empower you and remind you of your potential. I want to remind you daily that you are God's daughter. The same indescribable perfection and eternal glory lies dormant in you.
Please, please, please, choose to realize that potential. Feast on the scriptures. Pray with all fervency and diligence. Trust your Savior and your Father. Become the woman, spouse, mother, and friend that They know you can be. That I know you can be.

You are going to accomplish things you can't even comprehend right now. I'm so excited for your future. I love you and I know you will choose wisely.

Love,
Cora

Finding my peace

“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” (John 14:27.)

This year has definitely been a year to learn this principle. It has been the hardest I've yet experienced and also the most beautiful. I've faced some of my most difficult trials and I'm still here and still loving.

Today in Relief Society, we talked about that horrible, dark, lonely place that you come to when you're at your whit's end, your darkest hour, the last straw. We've all been in that place. We've all felt that horrible despair that comes from being lost and feeling completely alone. That doesn't come from God though. Our Father loves us and we are his divine daughters and sons. We have unlimited potential for us to realize.

We compared ourselves to trees. Anyone who loves hiking Adam's Canyon like I do has noticed those trees leaning off the side of the path, being held up by the trees around them. These trees are weak and sickly and rely on the strength of others to lift them up. Just like these leaning trees, when we lack the inner strength to stand on our own, and depend on others to lift us, we become weak and cannot grow to our full potential.

When we allow Christ to be our foundation and put our trust and faith in him, his strength flows through us. We have the ability to stand strong and free because we know Who we Are, our Divine Origin, and have felt His continuing Love for us. Standing on my own, not skulking in the shadows, has been really difficult for me. I've let myself be convinced of my weakness and unworthiness; I've thought that I wasn't worthy of my Father's love or aid.

I truly know that peace and healing come through our Savior Jesus Christ and from our Heavenly Father. My goal is to build a personal relationship with my savior and elder brother. I know I can't be what God made me to be without His help, but with his help I can accomplish all my highest goals and become everything he has in store for me.