Pain

Today I had words inside me that had to come out, so I wrote them down.

Once, the pain that lives inside me like a beast slept, whenever you came near. Now your very name feeds his growing emptiness. All he knows is hunger; all he seeks for is nourishment. But the more he is fed, the more empty he gets.
He fears gentleness and fends of warmth. Love, he fights bitterly, knowing it is the only thing that can kill him even as it is the only thing that can give him rest.


That about sums it up. It lives in me. It's a part of me. And the insidiousness of it is that I cannot expel it for fear of what I am without it.