Sleepless in ... my chair.

I need sleep. I can't decide whether I'm euphorically happy or deathly sad. It's Really weird. I'm not sure I understand it myself.

I was really laughing and light hearted after about 10 min of being home. It was prolly because Courtney was here. She's so lighthearted. It's Wonderful.


David is joining the Military. He is my best guy friend. He's practically my brother. He's going to be in the special-ops for the airforce. He'll be working with unmaned airplanes, so he Should be safe. Not that there's anything "safe" in a war zone, but he'll be safer than most people. It's selfish of me I know, but I'm glad.
He's going to leave for basic training in the next two months. Then it will be FOREVER (8 months) until I can see him again. He's Hoping to be home by Christmas.
Then he will most likely be stationed at Hill Air Force Base. I Really hope they allow them to recieve letters, since they won't have internet privileges for Quite some time. Actually Heaven only knows they'd never have time to do anything other than sleep.... But it would be a comfort to Me if I could send him letters. I love writing.

I really Am happy for him. He's finally getting his life together. He's got a focus and a goal and he's sticking to it. The job sounds really good for him. He'll do well.

In other slightly less depressing news news....
My mother just came in here and had another "productive" but slightly counterproductive chat. One of my pet peeves is how no one in my family respects my social privacy. My sister habitually gets on my messenger and talks to my friends. They all think she's Nuts. I usually use the word "eccentric" or GAUCHE. My family is gauche. I'm not saying that to be snotty I swear. They are just severly lacking in the manners department.
Today I got a call and my mother starts talking to the poor soul while I'm being summoned. They didn't call for her, they called for Me. I consider it respect that when a call is for Me, that it is not interupted by people being juvenile. Making stupid comments (siblings), or going on forever about me, or asking about the caller's personal life (Madre) is juvenile.

I recently took the Meyers Briggs test. One of the sections is "direction of focus, source of energy". This is the E or I part. E = Extroverting (energized with people, ie Party) I = Introverting (energized alone, ie reading a book). Extraverts can and Will talk and Talk and Talk. They don't care if you don't want to listen, they just Love talking. Introverts would rather write you an e-mail. They Listen. Their responses, unless to a close friend, usually consist of one or two words. Extraverts walk down the halls and can say hi to everyone, but they prolly can't remember their name. Introverts have a few close friends that they know everything about.
I showed up I, and thats true, but it was slight. I have alot of E too. I think I've combined them well. I Listen to people. I pay attention. I will focus on You. But then I will follow it with my own stories or expiriences to help you. I Do like being social, but it has short limits. I don't do well around megaloads of people. After a football game, I would be exhausted from the sheer amount of emotion contained in one stadium. I know people who would Adore that and be really hyper for Hours after. However, I enjoy going to parties with my friends.
My mother is an extreme Extravert. When she starts talking, she keeps talking. It goes on and on. Mostly re-hashing. I don't think she understands that I can add two and two. I am a fairly intuitive, and perceptive person. I Can read between the lines. With her sometimes, it's novels.
But she just Doesn't Think the same way I do. And it's not a mild thing. She doesn't understand language the way I do. She doesn't make Any of the same connections I do. And when I try to explain, she'll "interpret" what I say and shove words down my throat. And she never interprets things correctly.
Because she dosen't Think the same way.
I Don't like talking to her for any length. Or anyone really. So I give shorter answers. I guess I'm being dumb to think she'll understand.
Her, "How is your life going?" Me, "It's going."
To her, that is Scapegoating the question. Like I don't care enough to give an answer.
To Me, that is a pretty complete answer. The Going implys that yes, it's moving. Life continues at it's normal pace. The shortness and vagueness imply that things are slow. Most likely I'm tired, or burned out. I'm probably thinking alot and I'll be active later.

I guess I just don't give my mother what she wants. She grew up with lots of older sisters who I'm sure confided in her when they needed to unload something reallt girly. "Oh! He'll Never notice Me!" I think she may have grown up with thinking that melodramatic behavior is Normal, that That is how people rationally think. OOOooh Boy.
I don't Want her to know every detail of my life. There is No reason I should share with her the nitty gritty details. She doesn't need to know everything I would tell my friends. She doesn't need to know any girly little thought that enters my head. She isn't privy to how my "love life" is going. She doesn't Need to know. She Wants to know. Like when she was a child, she thinks it's her right, as a mother this time.
She can have Elise for that sort of thing. Count me OUT.