I want to go jump off the roof of my school right now. Just to feel the wind and the thrill and to see what would happen to me. I have this insane urge to go do something crazy. It's like a strong craving for an adrenaline rush. It's stupid, I know. I know I Shouldn't go do anything remotely dangerous right now.
Thank goodness it's happening at school and not home. If it were at home, I'd prolly find an excuse to go driving and then go absolutely nowhere in particular Way too fast.
I'm not thinking straight. My music is up as loud as I can possibly stand just so I can have Something that makes sense in my head. I can't even concentrate on the sound.
I hope seminary will help. It usually gives me peace and clears my head, but can I wait that long?
I feel like if I don't reign myself in with absolute control, I'm going to go run to .. idk. Somewhere. How about the bus stop. I could take whichever bus comes first and just Go.
How strange. Now I feel like crying. This really sucks. I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm writing this in my blog.
Don't worry about me, I'm just a psychopath. I'm sure I'll get over it someday. I should just hole up into myself again. I don't need to hurt anyone else around me.
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