Don't Read

NTS: Chemistry Essay, English Book Report: Huckleberry Finn

I am really getting rather sick of my engineering class. I'm sorry, but when I understand the material better than the teacher... it Kinda tends to make me mad. For heaven sake, if you are going to teach your students how to a perspective drawing KNOW How to do it Yourself!!!
grr. And if you are going to give me an assignment, don't get it off a pdf file on the internet. Heck, I came across it doing Reaserch. The assignment was for freakin 6-8th grade!

I think I understand a bit of what my dad felt when he corrected his computer teachers in college. It's aweful. Maybe I should just go somewhere and get stupid. No, really. I'm sick of being smart. If you think deeply, or seem smart, there's no way the average person is going to look at you with thinking anything other than, "Nerd." "Looser" "Odd" "What a social freak show" "Is she on crack??" "Omgosh, get a life." "Wtf???"

And the Great thing is, I'm Just Now realizing this! I honestly thought that I was getting half a social life. That I was actually thought well of. Maybe it's not all negative, maybe there's the occasional, "Lona? Ya, she's ok, but a little...."

No really.

I'm pretty much just sick of life. I'm sick of the Charades I put on to be slightly accepted. And I'm sick of being thought ill of because I actually show who I am.

Guess what Lona?! You can't please them all! Everyone is always going to find Something to nag at, gripe at, stick their nose up at, pick at, moan about, all about you. Everyone is going to find a reason to treat you with disdain. Do you realize how much they HATE you????

Or maybe, you're getting a big head. You are so unimportant that they don't waste a second thought on you. GO! Slip into a shadow and fade into dust. Maybe someday a seed will find your dust and grow, nourished by it. THEN MAYBE your life might be worth something.

Just stop crying and leave. Go drown yourself. I don't care. Lona, you are hateful.